Ever
since I was little, I have been terrified of public speaking. No matter how hard my mom tried to get me
involved in public speaking contests to help me get over my fear, it never
quite worked. One year, however, we
heard about a weeklong hands-on government class called TeenPact designed to
talk about many things including leadership, current events, government, and
public speaking. In the five years
following, TeenPact has taught me that my fear of public speaking limits my
potential, and has helped me towards overcoming that fear.
The
first time I heard about TeenPact, I could not see past the fact that I would
have to stand up in front of everyone and read a mock bill that I had written
to see what other benefits the class offered.
Somehow I avoided the weeklong class, but I couldn’t get out of the
public speaking class TeenPact offered at the end of the week. My sister had attended the class and loved
it, but my reaction was quite the opposite.
Over lunch, while everyone else was writing their speeches, I became so
nervous that I burst into tears and refused to participate—I convinced myself
that I would embarrass myself and the world would end.
The
next year, no matter how much I protested, I was forced to go—the phrase
“dragged kicking and screaming” doesn’t come anywhere close to describing my reaction.
The thought of reading my bill in front of everyone still terrified me,
but as I was waiting for my turn, one of the staffers took the time to reassure
me that standing up in front everyone still scared them. With that knowledge, I
was able to go onto the stage, knees shaking, voice trembling, to read the
first few paragraphs and later call my mom to say that I was enjoying it after
all. After that, I let myself take everything in and began realizing that I was
only holding myself back by allowing the fear of public speaking to control me.
Once I realized that I was the only
thing holding myself back, TeenPact started not only teaching me leadership,
government, and public speaking, but also the self-confidence I needed to help
me get over my fear.
Two
years later, I found myself willingly standing on that stage to argue in favor
of my mock bill and answer questions about it--essentially an impromptu
speech. The next year, I did the same thing,
but in addition to that, I begged to be allowed to stay for the public speaking
class after the main class was over--the same one that had brought me to tears
five years earlier. Now that I was
taking these steps towards overcoming my fear, I decided to take it a step
further and help others do the same.
After the extreme reaction I had after my first encounter with TeenPact,
if someone were to have told me that a few years later, I would be applying to
staff that very same class, I would have laughed in their face. And yet, that’s exactly what I did.
In a
span of five years, TeenPact transformed a thirteen-year-old who was scared
senseless at the thought of having to give a short speech into a
seventeen-year-old who was biting at the bit to become more involved in public
speaking opportunities. Not to say that
public speaking no longer scares me, and not to say that it is my favorite past
time, but I no longer burst into tears at the thought of giving a speech. I simply remember what my first TeenPact
staffer told me and remember that it’s okay to still be scared, as long as I
don’t let it control me.
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This is an essay I wrote for an English assignment a few weeks ago. Also, if any of you somehow have stumbled across my blog or know me and somehow haven't heard about TeenPact, here's their website: www.teenpact.com
