Arms of Love

Those of you who know me well probably know that I have a small scar right up next to my right eye and have likely heard the story of how it came to be there.  For those of you who don't, it happened one day when I was probably about four years old and I was skipping in circles around the inside of my Great Grandpa's house while being chased by my brother.  I happened to trip and hit my head right on the corner of the wall which was covered with glass tiles to create a humongous mirror on the wall.  There was no protective covering, so I got cut open by the glass.  About all I remember is tripping, my sister freaking out, being packed into the car to go to the emergency room, and then laying there on the table right before they gave me stitches.

But the one clear memory I have isn't the pain, or freaking out, but riding to the ER on my Great Grandpa's lap.  Mom had already been getting us ready to leave, so she just bundled us all out the door and Great Grandpa held me tight in his arms all the way there.

This is what I imagine being held in God's arms is like.  Those arms around me meant that even though I was hurt, everything would be okay.  Even though I was scared, he would protect me.  There was safety, and security, and love in those arms.  He wasn't going to let me go.

That's how I picture God's embrace.  We do something to injure ourselves -- be it a physical injury or a spiritual one -- and run to Him, and instead of just telling us off for getting into trouble again (though He does do that often enough, it's not all He does), He opens His arms wide and lifts us up, promising protection and healing.  Even though the injury may be of our own doing, He showers us with love and tells us that it will all work out in the end.

Arms that surround you and say, "Here, it is safe.  Here, you are loved."  

I never want to leave those arms.

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Photo Credit: Myself

Imagine Dragons - Demons

Just recently got hooked on the song "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.  While I don't completely agree with all the lyrics (They say it's what you make/I say it's up to fate) I can relate to quite a bit of it...  Here's the song if you'd like to listen to it.

The part of the song that says "When your dreams all fail/And the ones we hail/Are the worst of all" makes me think of all the dreams I have that at times seem incredibly out of reach, as well as the friends I have that lately, I've felt, haven't been very close and almost seem to disregard me unless its convenient to them.

I want to hide the truth/I want to shelter you/But with the beast inside/There's nowhere we can hide - I have a horrible habit of doing this.  I try to protect those I love from what I'm feeling by keeping it to myself, but as a result, it just builds up and becomes even worse.

So they dug your grave/And the masquerade/Will come calling out/At the mess you made - And what a mess we all make by trying to cover who we really are with masks.  Is it better to be yourself, or who you think everyone would want you to be?  To be real, or to just be a frail, paper mask?

I think just about all of us could relate to the chorus:

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Kind of goes along with my last post about covering up how we really feel.  I know I have a tendency to push people away at times to keep them from seeing my "demons" and to protect them from the "darkness inside."  Just wanted to share the song with you all :)

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Photo Credit: http://images.liveluvcreate.com/create/d/demons_-_imagine_dragons-421112.jpg?i

Broken Inside

Ever done this before?  You're having a bad day, something's weighing you down, ect. and a friend notices and asks if you're okay.  My response?  "Yeah, I'm fine."

Inside, though, I'm screaming, "NO!  I'm NOT okay!  I feel like my life is falling apart!"

Why do we do that?  Why do we lie to ourselves and everyone else?  It's like, that's the standard answer.  "I'm fine."

Even after your Uncle or Great Grandpa has died and someone asks how you're doing, I can almost guarantee that the answer will be, "I'm doing okay."  I know that was my response.

Or if you're going through a rough time inside, you don't let people know that you're anything BUT okay.  It's like, people open up to you, give you the chance to let them share your burden, whatever it might be, and you won't let them.

Really?

Am I that stupid?

To refuse help when I KNOW that I need it?

WANT it, even?

We are all so broken inside, even though we don't want to admit it to anyone, including ourselves.

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Photo Credit: 
http://24.media.tumblr.com/e0dd6d4ec9e059e20a2f2244987e104b/tumblr_mlroeoQsYM1rkyt1ro1_500.jpg

Prince Charming?

So, being a girl, this is (sadly, pathetically) something I think about often.  Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts on the subject.  (And it's midnight, so they're kinda thrown together pell-mell.  Forgive the numerous threads that may or may not make any sense whatsoever, or even tie off at the ends.)

You know, in the movies, the girl always falls in love with, and most often gets, the "pretty boy".  The popular guy, the jock, maybe even just a good looking nerd.  Being the type of gal that I am, I tend to notice those types of guys.  Even get a 5 second crush on them as I walk past them for the first and last time at the grocery store.  (I'm homeschooled, what can I say?  The best looking guy at my school is my younger brother and... well, lets just not go there, ok?)  But while I get crushes on those types of guys, I want to fall in love with a guy who's "pretty" on the inside.  I mean, we always talk about that as a quality for girls, but I think it applies to guys as well.  They should have honorable qualities, not just pretty features.

I want to fall in love with my best friend.  Be it one of my guy friends now, or someone I meet later on down the road.  I want him to be the one who always stood by me and held me up through the hard times.  The one who asks me what's wrong, before I even realize that something is.  I want to be able to talk to him about anything and everything.  He should be someone that I trust and feel comfortable around.  Someone who leads me spiritually and encourages me in my walk with God.

Just think of "Cinderella".  Prince Charming falls in love with her while dancing, she runs off, and apparently he can't even remember what she looks like and has to go all over the kingdom with a shoe.  Really?  Doesn't seem like there's a lot up there in his noggin.  Just my opinion, sorry.

And then look at the newer renditions of the Cinderella story?  "A Cinderella Story: Once Upon A Song" in which the guy falls in love with her voice and dates her stepsister because he thinks it's her.  ...but she still loves him.  And the minute he finds out it's actually her, what do they do?  Passionately kiss.  Really?  That dude's shallow.  "Another Cinderella Story" (with Selena Gomez) where he falls in love with her dance moves... just wow.  The only one I really like is "A Cinderella Story" (Hillary Duff) where she falls in love with the guy having no clue who he is, but knowing his personality.  In fact, when she finds out who he is (the popular guy at school) she tells herself the whole idea is stupid and decides to move on.  (Granted, they do end up together in the end, but only after he mans up about the whole thing.)  So, still not the greatest story ever, but much better than the others.

And yeah, it'd be awesome if he looks "cute" (guys, that's girl-speak for "handsome"), but if he's the guy God has for me, I'll see him that way even if no one else does.

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Anyway... off my soap-box now.  :)  Feel free to offer your opinion in the comments!

Photo Credit:
http://img.addfunny.com/funnypictures/hodgepodge/63/princecharming.jpg

New Blog

Yeah, so I'm starting my own blog.  Maybe not anything interesting, but I've been having some random thoughts that probably wouldn't work for the Thought Box, so I'll post them on here.  Probably mostly crazy stuff, and definitely no regular posting schedule.  This is pretty much just an intro for anyone who happens upon this.  Anyway...  Yep.  Happy July!
~Comma Queen