The Sky Is Falling

I was thirteen when my sky fell, in the midst of that fragile time in all our lives when we discover who we are and decide who we will become.  The worst part about the sky falling is not just the fact that the sky is where the ground should be, but it is the fact that it flips the entire world upside-down.  For me, this came in the form of several adults that I had known and trusted my whole entire life.  They showed themselves to be something other than what I had always thought they were, breaking my trust and causing much hurt.  If it had happened at any other time in my life, perhaps it would not have affected me so much, but as it was, that event forever changed the type of person I have grown up to be.

When I was younger, I could be found running around with a smile, befriending everyone I met and trusting without question.  However, when my world was shaken, I was not left unscarred.  I had seen years’ worth of trust broken without a thought in a matter of moments.  After that, I was hesitant to offer such a fragile thing to anyone who had not proven themselves completely trustworthy.  Even when that happened to occur, I did not offer my trust easily.  I did not want to be hurt again, and it seemed only too likely to happen.

I gradually built up walls between myself and other people, not wanting to be used by someone who really did not care about me.  As this happened, I became more and more introverted, choosing to avoid other people altogether.  However, in becoming an introvert, my desires went to war with each other.  I didn’t want to be hurt again, but I still craved true friendships.  The problem with the position I was in was that true friendships required trust, which I still found hard to give.

In my mistrust, I began analyzing why people did things for me instead of accepting it as kindness.  In my mind, anything anyone did must have an ulterior motive behind it, because why else would they be doing it?  This kind of attitude is not healthy in any type of relationship and as a result, I found it even harder to become friends with anyone and drew even further inside myself.  My self-confidence sunk to new lows and I came close to experiencing depression for several months.

It has now been a little over four years since my sky fell and slowly it has been shifting back into place.  But when it fell, its impact shook my world and while things are going back to normal, I know I will never be quite the same as I was before.  There’s a saying that “Time heals all wounds” and I’m finding that to be true.  I’m beginning to trust others again and not draw inside myself every time I hit a conflict.  I’ve started making friends more easily, especially with those who have been in similar situations.  I still tend to be introverted, but not so much that it is unhealthy.  However, while time may heal all wounds, I have come to realize that it cannot erase all the scars.

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Yet another of my English assignments - Cause and Effect

Photo source: originally from http://atomictoasters.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/lightning.jpg -- text added by me